If You Were Bullied Like Me, Don't Worry, God Will Bring Justice. Part 3

This is a letter that I sent during my time at Northeastern. I was being bullied by my roommate for the majority of my college experience, and Northeastern would not help me. They kept putting me in her face, and though I was telling them that talking to her was not working, they kept sending me into danger. I asked to move; I just wanted to leave to go into my own dorm because in my life I tend to get bullied almost everywhere I go. So best to have my own space to minimize that.

As you read this, I want you to have the mindset of knowing that it is okay to stand up for yourself no matter the position of the people you are standing up to. They are not more important than you. We are all equally loved and important in the eyes of God, and so, should treat each other as such. Stand up for yourself knowing God is on your side. He guided my words and steps; let him guide you on what to do, say, and how to move. And you will be okay. God protected me from how bad it could have gotten. I thank him for that.

SET YOUR BOUNDARIES, STAND UP TO YOUR BULLIES BECAUSE THROUGH CHRIST WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE AFRAID! DON'T LET PEOPLE WALK OVER YOU! YOU ARE IMPORTANT, LOVED, VALUABLE AND SEEN! IF NO ONE HAS TOLD YOU THEN, I AM HERE TO TELL YOU NOW THAT YOU ARE TOO IMPORTANT TO ALLOW SOMEONE OR PEOPLE TO TAKE YOUR POWER AWAY AND DIM YOUR LIGHT! TRUST AND PRAY TO THE LORD, AND HE WILL TELL YOU JUST HOW TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. DO IT THROUGH JESUS, DON'T DO IT ALONE.

Romans 8:31

³¹ What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

This email I sent started with me informing my roommate about the fact that I was removing the fridge from the dorm, since I was leaving the school but was still legally responsible for it and anything that happened to it, including damage fees. I spoke my mind because before this, we went to an RA meeting mediation, where the RAs were biased and shut me down when I should have been allowed to speak during a time; they also attacked my character after having isolated me from my support system that day, etc. Everyone in the room was determined to break me down, the RAs and my former roommate. There are also some other issues I mentioned as well. Also keep in mind, I've used almost all forms of communication in this situation, not just digital. Digital was just my preferred way I communicated.

It's okay speak your mind on when someone is doing wrong against you and to call them out. Remember that.

I wrote and sent...

Though you'll most likely ignore this, so it could be a waste of time, I'm moving my cord tomorrow (the one that is connected to the fridge). You'll have to reconnect the fridge to a different outlet on your side. If you need more time to prepare before I make the adjustment, inform me, if not, I'll be moving my cord sometime tomorrow, so be prepared to reconnect the fridge on your side after I move it, so that your food won't go bad.  

Don't make any adjustments yet to the current placement of the fridge cord (don't move my cord or unplug it) as I will handle that when I move my cord. After I move my cord, feel free to connect the fridge to your side. I'm sending this email so that when I unplug my cord, you won't panic about your food going bad or be unpleasantly surprised.

 I was going to say this in person, since digital communication was such a problem, but you weren't at the dorm, so I'm sending an email because I have things I gotta do that require me elsewhere for now. 

Please do not mistake me mentioning how you perceived my digital communication styles as a problem, for me doing a full 360 on my communication styles. Being told to change my communication styles was simply a misguided solution.

Also, last meeting, you wanted me to inform you about any adjustments to the room or anything going on with the room. I've noticed a few new things that are in our space that you've added to the room, in which you did not inform me or talk to me about, as well as one other thing that I will not mention. I just request that if we are going to inform each other about things going on with the room, it will be the both of us, as it is not fair nor ethical if it's just me doing the informing. As I stated last meeting, the things you have going on is important, indicating that your problems you're dealing with are valid, hence you matter, and I get it, but it's not cool to make others feel as if they do not. 

If you would like to attach the RA's or anyone else for comfort purposes or for whatever reason, please feel free to do so, and I will understand. Also, I will not send reminders since you got upset at me for it last time, though I thought I was doing a good thing, considering you said you have short-term memory. 

Enjoy your night. God bless. I only reached out because I'm making an adjustment to the room, and for the reasons listed.  

After this, she responded telling me that I was disrespectful and I will not talk to her that way, she said that she wants me to only talk to her when a RA is around and if I can't respect her to not talk to her at all (keep in mind there is a video i sent to her way before this of me telling her that I want nothing to do with her first). Then, she gave me an ultimatum that if I don't come to the dorm at a certain time, she will touch my cord to unplug it herself. Keep in mind, through all and all, I have been trying to be kind and thoughtful in how I speak to her. I also addressed other issues and her behavior.

I responded...

do not…touch my…things…ever again. 

Why would I have taken my cord if I knew that your food could go bad if you weren't able to be there that day to plug it up to your side? Of course I would've waited till Monday when you requested. I would’ve waited because 1. It would be wrong of me to unplug the fridge if you weren't going to be able to plug it up after, because that could cause your food to go bad, and 2. I knew it would have been wrong for me to plug the fridge up to your side and touch your cord and enter your space without your permission.  You didn't even have the patience to wait for a response from me. Don't even try to say I've been impatient by confronting you when you ignore me. It’s not impatience from my side, it's me calling you out. I'm either ignored or I have to wait an eternity to get a response from you, and you said you just don't respond to people fast, which was a bad excuse for you ignoring me, but anyways, being patient for a regular response and having to always wait an eternity for a response are completely different. I would’ve responded to you when I saw the message in the morning. But yet, you gave me an ultimatum, which was to come and unplug my cord before 8am or you’ll move it yourself. Like, What the heck Sierra? 

I have been nothing but kind to you. I’ve been using the kindest words that I can to express myself without being rude. I’ve been calm and have refrained from using certain words because I don’t want to hurt your feelings. But, I will not refrain from expressing how I feel when you are doing things that are negatively affecting me. You may not like what I'm saying, but it’s the truth and I'm going tell it like it is. You’ve been trying to control what I say and how I say it, though I've been calm and nice. If something is bothering me, I'm going to say something. You don’t like it? Okay. You really expect me to be silent and wait for an RA to arrive just to confront you about things you're doing that are negatively impacting me? That’s unrealistic. Bruh. Come on, now. How about you stop calling me hypocritical, disrespectful, stop making it seem like I’m a jerk, and look in the mirror. Let’s do a reality check. Because you’ve been a real jerk.

I walk on eggshells around you; you have a problem with everything I say and do. No matter how kind and calm I am. Nothing is ever good enough. Will you have a problem with me breathing as well? With me walking into the dorm and just existing? With me talking to my family in the dorm? With me being alive? It seems my very existence bothers you in itself.  I never say anything about your guest, and all you can do is have a problem with and lie on mine. What sense does that make? We are adults, this blowing up into something larger than what it is for almost 2 months is ridiculous. We should be enjoying college and living our best lives right now. You know it. For REALLLLLLL. Come on. We shouldn’t be mad at each other right now. Like i said, i really really don’t want to hurt your feelings. But I will no longer be concerned about yours because you're never concerned about mine. 

We should not be arguing like this. We should be having fun and being happy. But you like disrespecting me as if it’s a sport or fun activity no matter how nice I am, which is why we have a problem. You say to me whatever you want, however you want, in the meanest ways, but yet you want to control how I respond to you? what? I’m tired of your evilness. I’ve done nothing to deserve it. Think what you want, but you know it’s true. There was a week where you had people over a lot, talking and everything. Sometimes, for long periods of time. Times where you’ve been on your phone laughing and conversing while I was doing homework and studying. And guess what? It’s not a problem with me, never has been. But yet, when I call on my phone and barely have my guest over, Or even make a sound in the room. It's a problem. That’s crazy. And don't even try to say that I'm being hypocritical because you be asking me to have guests over. Girl, I've never told you to do that. I've NEVER told you that I wanted you to ask me when you want to have guest over or make a phone call. You've asked me of your own accord. And the times that you didn't ask me to have guest over, I was completely fine with. Why would I make a big deal out of that? But yet you make a big deal out of everything I do. 

I am so tired of all of this. So tired and drained. So drained….it’s depressing really. This is why I said that I was done with you in the last video I sent, and that I would remove myself from the narrative because everything is too difficult with you.  I’ve suffered from people like you before. I’m only human, no one wants to be going through this again….and again…and again….

I’m your emotional punching bag…I guess…it seems to you…that’s all I amount to. It makes me sad and very tired. I really hope you’re not doing this to someone else.

Remember,

SET YOUR BOUNDARIES, STAND UP TO YOUR BULLIES BECAUSE THROUGH CHRIST WE DO NOT HAVE TO BE AFRAID! DON'T LET PEOPLE WALK OVER YOU! YOU ARE IMPORTANT, LOVED, VALUABLE AND SEEN! IF NO ONE HAS TOLD YOU THEN, I AM HERE TO TELL YOU NOW THAT YOU ARE TOO IMPORTANT TO ALLOW SOMEONE OR PEOPLE TO TAKE YOUR POWER AWAY AND DIM YOUR LIGHT! TRUST AND PRAY TO THE LORD, AND HE WILL TELL YOU JUST HOW TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. DO IT THROUGH JESUS, DON'T DO IT ALONE.